in between denial and acceptance
Friday, April 18, 2008i’m amazed at how some people can have a high tolerance for painful truths and incessant lies. i am not one of them.
i have read somewhere that we should only accept something as true if there is empirical evidence. however there are certain "facts" that you just know or think or feel are true because your instincts say so. verifying if these gutfeel facts are indeed true is not for the faint of heart. in my case, i’d rather not confirm because the mere hint of a painful truth crushes my spirit. the damage has already been done by the irritating kutob, i don’t want to add insult to injury.
Previous Comments
hi linus! i hope you’re feeling better now. i guess you’re one of the amazing group of strong people huh? that exclusive group of people that i’m not a part of.
curiosity can be a burden. my “snooping” curiosity has brought a lot of heartaches for the past years.
i don’t want to hear the truth straight from the horse’s mouth because i don’t want the scene to replay in my head over and over uncontrollably. i’d rather think that my painful hunch is true than know for sure. i’m such a coward. haha.
Posted by gacdelacruz at April 21, 2008, 6:31 pmThanks Gratsi’, feeling much better. For me it’s normally a cycle where I wallow in the muck before I decide to rise and live again. 
Anyway, back to the topic at hand.
But what if your hunch was wrong? Then what? Would you be able to live with the what ifs? That is the underlying reason why I choose to know because 10, 15 years down the road, I would not want myself saying that “I should’ve done this” or “I could’ve done that…” and really I don’t want to that added burden when I should be enjoying my retirement years. hehehehe
Posted by virus at April 21, 2008, 7:43 pmi’m happy to hear that you’re in a better mood now. mala-fawkes (phoenix ni dumbledore) ka pala.
i’ll just wait for now. wanting to know if i have been cheated on is not really something i’m eager to know. i think he did and i think it’s better to just provide the answer for myself rather than confront the person and hear the words directly from the culprit.
Posted by gacdelacruz at April 22, 2008, 10:45 amWell, there really is no other way to find out than doing investigative work. Trust me, I know. I can rival Hercule Poirot, or Sherlocke Holmes.
Sad to hear that your gut feel says this though. 
Hope you will be alright.
Posted by virus at April 22, 2008, 1:04 pmlinus, i think i can rival your detective skills. let’s venture into private investigation.
surprisingly i think i’m okay. i don’t have problems with sleeping and i’m not crying. two bottles of beer took care of it. hahaha.
Posted by gacdelacruz at April 23, 2008, 7:07 amAh yes, the consolation that St. Michael brings……..indispensable. Hahaha
Happy to hear that you’re doing fine. Now, pick yourself up and move onwards again. 
thanks for the concern. i really appreciate it.
cheers to moving forward! tagay na! hahaha.
Posted by gacdelacruz at April 24, 2008, 8:44 am
Hmmmm, in my case I would rather know the truth than live in denial. As they saying goes, curiousity killed the cat and I’m just about used up my nine lives. Hehehehe
Posted by virus at April 21, 2008, 3:45 pm