i volunteered for a summer education program not knowing that the students would be interns.  when i signed up for the task, i was thinking that i would teaching new hires of the company.  so when i was informed that i was chosen from the list of volunteers, i was ecstatic.  and then they said that it was going to be for interns - college students - from la salle and i was like HUWAT!  i had two options:  decline because after all saying yes would mean i would have to miss two meetings on friday  or just give it a go laban lang ng laban when an opportunity knocks.

i enjoyed myself immensely, extremely tired at the end of the day but still looking forward to do it again the next day.  for those two days i was up at 4:30 in the morning so i won’t be late for class.  kulang pa sa tulog because i prepare the night before for the class.  that’s how excited i am.  i don’t think i’ve been that excited to do something in a long time. 

i was deeply concerned of course about my students.  it was my first time to handle such a class.  i was concerned that i lack expertise and teaching experience, and that would affect what they’ll learn.  the feedback is good news naman.  i got very high marks so i guess that answers my concern.  i am very thankful that they were generous in the ratings they provided but i have to admit that i think i could have done better.  i still have a long way to go if a career in the academe is what i want in the future.

i’m not really in the mood to write but i wanted to post this before the feeling is gone.   what i feel now is in stark contrast to how i felt in my previous post.  it seems that the forces of nature are on my side (for now).  life is accommodating my little whims and wishes.  it’s letting me win a few small battles here and there.  i may still be losing the war but right now i just want to enjoy my little victories.

i’m happy that i’m happy.  i know that this is just temporary happiness but i’m just happy to be HAPPY!   i don’t want to let go of this feeling of bliss, everything seems to be bright and beautiful.  BUT i don’t want to be foolish as well.  i know that there will come a time that this feeling will end pero i’m still happy that i was able to experience such felicity.

i learned to smoke a year ago.  now, smoking is a form of socialization, a stress-reliever, and an activity to pass time.  if i’m not a smoker, i wouldn’t have bonded with the people i have bonded with because i know how to smoke.  was i allowed to learn how to smoke so that i can socialize with these people?  or was it because i was bound to socialize with this people that i learned to smoke?  well, i think this is a weak example but i can’t think of a better one.

anyway, the point is:  do the things we do now and the decisions we make today affect tomorrow?  OR do we do the things that we do now and do we decide the way we decide today because we should in order to make way for the future? 

well, my theory is:  the future has already been written.  things happen because they are bound to.  it would seem that we have a choice but for all we know, we are bound to make that choice because the consequence of that choice has already been laid down.

any more suggestions?

in other news, my ym is acting all weird.  i can’t log in and in the few instances that i am logged in, i can’t receive messages.  ngek useless!  hahaha.  it’s been like this for almost two weeks and i’m actually irritated but what can i do?  i’ll just laugh it off.