i’ve had better days
Monday, May 5, 2008i’m sure in the future i will be writing about all things being bright and beautiful but for now it just aint so. i thought i was fine when i learned that someone did something unforgivable but i’m not that apathetic afterall. i’m upset, very upset in fact. it’s unfair. i don’t deserve something like that after all that i had to put up with. what happened was what i feared the most. i would probably feel better if i let it out and weep until i no longer can but i dont want to. i would feel defeated if i cry. i dont want to be upset, i want to feel angry.
what’s next?
things happen for a reason. whether good or bad, there is always a reason why things happen. lately, i’ve been wondering if it’s the past and the present that affect the future or if it’s the future that dictates what should happen before it?
i learned to smoke a year ago. now, smoking is a form of socialization, a stress-reliever, and an activity to pass time. if i’m not a smoker, i wouldn’t have bonded with the people i have bonded with because i know how to smoke. was i allowed to learn how to smoke so that i can socialize with these people? or was it because i was bound to socialize with this people that i learned to smoke? well, i think this is a weak example but i can’t think of a better one.
anyway, the point is: do the things we do now and the decisions we make today affect tomorrow? OR do we do the things that we do now and do we decide the way we decide today because we should in order to make way for the future?
well, my theory is: the future has already been written. things happen because they are bound to. it would seem that we have a choice but for all we know, we are bound to make that choice because the consequence of that choice has already been laid down.
things that happen today happen because the future says so.
