longest weekend ever

i think this has been the longest weekend ever.  i slept a lot, watched tv a lot and ate a lot.  my body feels so relaxed. 

i got a massage from our neighbor's manang masahista.  i kinda liked it but i still think ptm's massage is the best.  i hope i'll find a boyfriend who knows how to masahe.  ung masahe na mapapapikit ka sa sobrang sarap!  haha.

i'm re-reading Love in the Time of Cholera.  i read this book when i was in second year college.  it was a requirement for my hum 1 class.  i'm re-reading it because i ran out of books to read. i just finished Deception Point  which was okay.  i loved the ending primarily because the women regained control over the situation.

quality time with myself

i love going to the mall.  it has been a habit.  most of the time, i just window shop and buy pasalubong for my mom and my brother.  lately, i have been buying a lot of small stuffs but even the smallest items cost a lot nowadays.

kanina this bag caught my attention.  it's cute and it's big enough to carry my things.  i was kinda hesitant to buy it because it's kinda expensive.  i thought about it over and over and since i seldom see a bag that i like, i decided to buy it.  i've been using my black girbaud bag for the longest time, i think it's time for it to rest for a while. 

so, that's debit asset - bag 575 and credit asset - cash 575. haha.

my current favorite bread: french baker's asado roll (yummy!)

i just can’t love you back

n.p.p. made me feel so loved.  i think . . .  he can and he will take care of me; he can and will do anything for me; and above all, he loves me dearly. 

i enjoy his company.  i enjoy our conversations. 

i like that he's smart.  i like that he's patient and that he can put up with my stubbornness and my bad temper.

unfortunately, i realized that i just can't love him back.  i like him but i don't like him romantically.  i still love paprika.  i can hear the song of music and lyrics at the back of my head.  . . . trapped in the past, i just can't seem to move on….

he was very hurt.  but what can i do?  he was persistent.  i felt i had no choice but to be mean.  i had to make him understand.

i hope he moves on asap.  i really want him to be happy.  he deserves to be happy and to be loved.

it’s good to see you

paprika and i had dinner last night with his friends.  we missed each other a lot.  he asked permission to hold my hand.  i think that was kinda nice but really baduy if you think about it.  haha.

he asked if we could get back together.  he told me to come with him.  he told me he wouldn't marry.  he told me a lot of supposed to be kilig stuff but i'm now too skeptical to be kilig.  words are only true at the moment they were said. 

i asked if he ever cried, he said did.  i asked if gets lonely when he thinks about us, he said he does. 

he said i wouldn't be happy with him, that made me cry.

i know that we both love each other but i also know that we can't be together.

it’s always been you

paprika: musta?

grace:  ayos lang

paprika: anong ayos lang? ayos na ayos?

grace: yup, ayos na ayos.

kunwari pa ko e hindi naman ako ayos! haha. 

the conversation went smoothly.  but after we talked, i broke down and cried again. 

when will i get over you.  we both know we're through but we can't get rid of each other.

paprika: cge, bbye. love you.

grace: love you

take 2

i've deleted my previous posts.  wala lang. added pollution lang sila sa net.  i'll try to write sensible posts next time. o kaya kahit hindi sensible basta well-written o kaya mukhang pinagisipan man lang. 

anyway, congress is having two special sessions this week but my boss is sick so we're still on break mode.  i'm concerned about her health but i'm quite relieved that she's going to be absent for the special sessions.  i wouldn't have to be stressed about the agenda and whether we have interpellation papers or amendments papers for whatever it is on the agenda.  it gets really stressful when my other boss bugs me about papers i have already given him and for some reason he has forgotten about it.  i'll write more stuff about him and our love/hate work relationship next time.

from now on, i will refer to the big boss as miranda (the devil wears prada).  they are so alike.  they are both perfectionists, scheming, and ruthless. haha

my current favorite song

my officemate made me listen to love's a game by the magic numbers.  unang kinig pa lang, gusto ko na.  the song is in tune with whatever emotional drama i'm going through.

"love is just a game, broken all the same, and i will get over you…

love is just a lie, happens all the time, swear i know this much is true.."

how bitter! haha!

why, oh why, can't i upload the song?!

From blog stalker to blogger

While googling for "fake lashes", I stumbled upon a cute blog of april zara. She's a fellow Pinay who now lives in Singapore.  I found her blog so amusing that I decided to create my own blog. 

I initially wanted to create two accounts for my blog, one under my real name and another under an alias.  Why two accounts?  Well, when you write a blog you are sharing yourself to everybody in cyberspace who cares to read your blog.  So maintaining two blogs will kinda protect people I know from knowing stuff about me that I probably don't want them to know.  My deep, dark secrets will be published under an alias.  And the side of me that is okay for people to know will be published under my real name.  But hey, who cares?! This is my blog! I’ll just be as true and honest as possible but still be very tactful in blogging.  

Hopefully, my blog can be my Pensieve where I can store memories/events in my life so I can review them (sooner or) later.