i have a concern
Tuesday, March 17, 2009i remember reading “go put your strenghts to work” as a requirement in my previous job. not really a requirement but an encouraged reading. as if there is a difference. anyway, there are two things that i remember from this book:
1. the book refers to something that is unclear or something that causes you to have doubts as a yellow light.
2. when you are faced with a yellow light, don’t hesitate to say “i have a concern”.
ever since i’ve read that book, i always use “i have a concern” as a start of my dialogue when i am approaching someone about an issue or when i want to ask something or when i want to drive at a point without being direct.
now, i find myself surrounded by yellow lights. there is hesitation. there is that urong sulong moment. having moments of doubt is of course natural however, what i hate about it is the lack of an mmda so to say. i am frustrated that there is no reliable authority whose wisdom i can trust and whose decisions i can depend on. something has to change. there must be someone who has balls to make decisions, stand by the decisions, and have confidence to say ‘sagot ko yan”.
unfortunately, there is an mmda. but the mmda is falling short of the expectations. and it is just unacceptable. sana wala na lang mmda di ba kung wala naman palang maitutulong.
there are times that i feel frustrated about the situation i am in. i have never been a passenger in a car driven by an inexperienced driver. i guess there is a first time for everything. maybe, i should be optimistic about it and see things from a different perspective. i should try to view the situation as an opportunity instead of focusing on how bulok things are.
heartless
Tuesday, March 10, 2009why is it that when we like someone, we begin to pay attention to things that they have mentioned they lilke, we start to appreciate the things that they appreciate, and we exert a bit of effort to find our more about the things that mean something to them? it’s silly really. i wonder if this happens to men as well. may be women are more prone to behave like this. or probably it’s just me.
in a relationship, i think the one who loves more is the more sensitive one. the one ws constantly feeling insecure is the one who loves more. i’m not sure if i am right about this. this is just my theory.
the week that was
Sunday, March 8, 2009this past week has been really packed. i haven’t stopped working since monday. i brought my office laptop at home just so i could work over the weekend. i had to talk to the IT person before i left work last friday so that i would know how to launch the vp nortel thingy. i was able to finish a bit of work yesterday but there’s still a lot more to be done tomorrow.
today is sunday and i am working on my OB midterms. since i sarted workng in makati, i try to finish all school stuff over the weekend because i’m just too tired to study or write papers after work. travel from my house to makati is just too tiring. i have to ride a jeep, then fx, then the dreadful mrt, then jeep again and then walk a bit before i finally reach the office. that’s about 53 pesos one way. i’m not the type of person who takes the cab because i think it is sayang.
i finally got the chance to try pepper lunch. they have a branch in pacific star which is near our office. i ordered pork pepper steak which was delicious. the teriyaki sauce adds so much flavor into the dish and it’s a good thing that it’s refillable. i think what’s exciting about pepper lunch dishes is that it cooks before your eyes. you get the feel of cooking the food yourself without all the fuss. but i think it is quite expensive. not the kind of lunch you would want to eat everyday, only on fridays or when you feel bad and you want to treat yourself. 
this coming week would probably still be busy like the past week. i still haven’t twatched the dvd i borrowed from my officemate. it’s the secret of bees which is supposed be quite melodramatic. hopefully after this week, i’ll get to watch it and write about it.
by the way, we now have wi-fi connection at home! yey! it cost me 2,000 pesos to get the d-link gadget. we were supposed to buy the cd-r king router (if that is what it’s called) but according to the expert, d-link is the better option. so for those who want to have dsl connection and would like to have wi-fi at home, i highly recommend you get d-link, affordable and yet dependable compared to other brands.
is it worth it?
Saturday, February 28, 2009last thursday i attended a time management training. ironically, the training started 1 and a half hours late. but the good side is, we were assured by the trainer that we will still end on time and true enough we did.
anyway, we were asked by the trainer to think of four roles that we have on separate pieces of paper. and then she asked us to tear the role that we think we would give up first until there was only one piece of paper left. she then asked us if that was role that we were spending most of our time. there were attendees who realized that they were not spending time on that role that they considered was most important to them. but in my case, what was left was my role as a career woman and yes, i am really spending probably 80% of my time working.
it’s a good thing that i know what my priorities are. i am spending time on what i think is important to me right now and that is my career. then i realized that my career is my priority because that is what i need right now but that is not my priority in life. so that made me ask myself, is it worth it? am i missing out on other important things that would allow me to really live life fully?
defintely the answer is yes. i do enjoy working. but i don’t want to live just to work. my ultimate goal is to work intensively right now so that i can pursue the things that would really make me happy in the long run. there is that fear that i might be focusing too much on work that it becomes my life and my source of happiness. i don’t think people are made to be workers or just to earn money while they are alive. i don’t want to be just a career woman. i want to take on other roles that would make me embrace other things that life has to offer. the only question is when?
first post for 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009february is about to end and i still have not posted anything. grabe! i was in the mood to write yesterday but lo and behold i.ph was doing maintenance.
i’m on fourth month on the job. i did not expect for compensation and everything related to people’s salaries to be so tricky and messy. the policies are not as black and white as it should be. the computation is the easy part (what a surprise!), it is the why behind the computation that can get you in trouble.
employees’ reactions are also a puzzle to me. they can flare out when you don’t expect them to. they misconstrue things even if you went out of your way to help them. geez! i was never like that with my salary. i never question my payslip. i never analyze and overanalyze my salary siguro kasi maliit lang haha!
anyway, i am hoping that i will get the hang of it. i am really out of my comfort zone. i am used to having my own say on how i should do things. now i realize that when other people’s money is involved you can’t always decide on your own. i get really frustrated at times because it seems that i don’t have the control that i used to have. i think it is also because i am in an unfamiliar territory. i never imagined this career change to have such a huge impact. but i don’t want to think of the long run for now. the dust will eventually settle. i just want to get pass through this learning and adjustment stage.
on a lighter note, i felt like a foolish, infatuated teenager yesterday. yun lang, pwera usog.
it’s been two years! :)
Monday, December 29, 2008oh my! it’s been two years since i started this blog. i remember that i started this blog just so when i google my name, this site would appear. now, i realize that i want this blog to be as a secret as possible. sometimes it’s liberating to share my thoughts with friends but there are also times that after sharing i just want to take my words back.
i also remember that this blog used to be my outlet to vent out my paprika stories. and then after that my dating stories. all of which are now charged to experience.
segway lang for a paprika update: every now and then, paprika would text or call which of course i appreciate a lot. yihee! before christmas i was really surprised that he called at 6 in the morning just to reminisce the “good times”, his words not mine. it was sweet and thoughtful. he asked if was already seeing someone and of course i said no. i didn’t dare ask him back. i don’t want to know. what i don’t know won’t hurt me. hahaha. but i guess he’s not seeing anybody (keeping my fingers crossed). well, at the end of the call, we both said the three magic words. yeba! i actually waited for him to say it first hahaha. anyway, enough about the paprika story.
it’s been also two years since i went back to school…and it’s going to be more or less two more years before i graduate.
when i started this blog i was still working at the senate. then i moved to tiger woods, inc. and now i’m in a new company again. hopefully this would be the company where i would grow careerwise for the years to come. i don’t want to go through the whole process of being interviewed and selling myself again.
hhhmmm…it seems like a lot has happened but it doesn’t feel like it. i can’t help but feel senti-senti when i look back. tomorrow i’ll try to come up with something without a tinge of “senti-ness”
my thoughts on marriage
Monday, December 1, 2008as i get older, the more i realize that marriage and having kids is not for me. marriage is fun at the beginning just like a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. it’s exciting. it gives that thrill of spending the rest of your life with the person you love. but the excitement will eventually die down. you’d realize that your spouse is a unique individual just like you who behaves differently, has different ambitions, and who just like you would want freedom every now and then.
some people would want to have kids just so they won’t be alone. i don’t want to be alone either. but i don’t want to have kids so that i won’t be alone. it’s a huge responsibility that i am not willing to take. maybe i will change my mind in the future but for now, it’s a responsibility that i don’t see myself having.
so if i don’t want to get married and i don’t want to have kids, does that mean that i will have to live alone for the rest of my life? ang lungkot naman nun. :( ideally, i want to have a companion whom i won’t get attached to. constantly present but no commitment. baka sa future, pwede na mag-rent ng ganon. hahaha.
holiday season
christmas time again! and unlike most people i don’t look forward to this holiday season. it’s just not my thing.
i had to set-up the christmas tree again as i always do every year. it’s like my annual responsibility and i hate it. not hate, hate, but i just don’t enjoy doing it buti na lang once a year lang.
traffic is so bad lately. is it because of the holidays? or the reduced prices of oil? i heard from the news that dpwh will temporarily stop its projects. in other words, hahayaan ba nilang nakatiwangwang ang mga hinukay nila? that will definitely aggravate traffic even more. *sigh*
malls are also jampacked than usual. 
*sigh* teenage boys and girls everywhere. harshness!
sandaliang aliw lang ang pasko. in two months time things will go back to the usual.
hello blog! and hello world!
Sunday, November 16, 2008it’s been ages since i last updated my blog. i sort of miss blogging. but ironically, despite missing blogging i still managed to not write anything. hahaha.
well, what have i been up to lately? the biggest change so far has been my job. i have left tiger woods inc. and moved to an FMCG company. everyday, i have to travel around 2 to 2.5 hours from my house to the office. i get to witness mrt action and drama almost everyday. the upside is i get to exercise undeliberately because i have to do a lot of walking (more of running when i have classes) and pushing so i can ride the train. i must say the life of an mrt passenger is no joke.
i am still adjusting with my new role. so far, i have to do a lot of reading since ensuring that policies are implemented properly is an integral part of my job. i also have to adjust with my new officemates. most of them are women so adjusting is much more tricky.
school is still the same. although i only have one subject now since i dropped international business. it’s just not worth the effort. first time in my life to drop a subject so i’m kinda pissed about it. i reviewed my program of study and for sure i won’t be graduating with my batchmates. no worries though because i’m not in a hurry. (right emcee? )
i’m contemplating on whether or not to collect stickers for a starbucks planner. the planner is not as fab as it used to be. but if i’m going to drink cofee from now till january might as well collect the stickers.
what else? there’s so much more but i think that will be all for now. later!
trying to rediscover…
Tuesday, October 14, 2008i think i have lost my love for blogging. it used to be part of my everyday habit. i used blogging as an outlet to release emotions and thoughts that i couldn’t and wouldn’t share with people i know personally. blogging used to be the medicine that soothes my im-bored-at-work dilemma.
don’t know when this detachment to blogging started. must be the time when i had so much going on. i wanted to write everything about those events but i think i was just too tamad to write. plus the fact that there are events that i couldn’t blog about.
i have a lot of time on my hands for the next couple of days (i think) so i guess i have time to rekindle my affair with blogging.
