it’s been two years! :)

oh my!  it’s been two years since i started this blog.  i remember that i started this blog just so when i google my name, this site would appear.  now, i realize that i want this blog to be as a secret as possible.  sometimes it’s liberating to share my thoughts with friends but there are also times that after sharing i just want to take my words back. 

i also remember that this blog used to be my outlet to vent out my paprika stories.  and then after that my dating stories.  all of which are now charged to experience. 

segway lang for a paprika update: every now and then, paprika would text or call which of course i appreciate a lot.  yihee!   before christmas i was really surprised that he called at 6 in the morning just to reminisce the “good times”, his words not mine.    it was sweet and thoughtful.  he asked if was already seeing someone and of course i said no.  i didn’t dare ask him back.  i don’t want to know.  what i don’t know won’t hurt me.  hahaha.   but i guess he’s not seeing anybody (keeping my fingers crossed).  well, at the end of the call, we both said the three magic words.  yeba!   i actually waited for him to say it first hahaha.  anyway, enough about the paprika story.  

it’s been also two years since i went back to school…and it’s going to be more or less two more years before i graduate. 

when i started this blog i was still working at the senate.  then i moved to tiger woods, inc. and now i’m in a new company again.  hopefully this would be the company where i would grow careerwise for the years to come.  i don’t want to go through the whole process of being interviewed and selling myself again. 

hhhmmm…it seems like a lot has happened but it doesn’t feel like it.   i can’t help but feel senti-senti when i look back.  tomorrow i’ll try to come up with something without a tinge of “senti-ness”

my thoughts on marriage

as i get older, the more i realize that marriage and having kids is not for me.  marriage is fun at the beginning just like a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.  it’s exciting.  it gives that thrill of spending the rest of your life with the person you love.  but the excitement will eventually die down.  you’d realize that your spouse is a unique individual just like you who behaves differently, has different ambitions, and who just like you would want freedom every now and then.

some people would want to have kids just so they won’t be alone.  i don’t want to be alone either.  but i don’t want to have kids so that i won’t be alone.  it’s a huge responsibility that i am not willing to take.  maybe i will change my mind in the future but for now, it’s a responsibility that i don’t see myself having.

so if i don’t want to get married and i don’t want to have kids, does that mean that i will have to live alone for the rest of my life?  ang lungkot naman nun.  :(  ideally, i want to have a companion whom i won’t get attached to.  constantly present but no commitment.  baka sa future, pwede na mag-rent ng ganon.  hahaha.

holiday season

christmas time again!  and unlike most people i don’t look forward to this holiday season.  it’s just not my thing.
i had to set-up the christmas tree again as i always do every year.  it’s like my annual responsibility and i hate it.  not hate, hate, but i just don’t enjoy doing it buti na lang once a year lang. 

sandaliang aliw lang ang pasko.  in two months time things will go back to the usual.  

hello blog! and hello world!

it’s been ages since i last updated my blog.  i sort of miss blogging.  but ironically, despite missing blogging i still managed to not write anything.  hahaha.
well, what have i been up to lately?  the biggest change so far has been my job.  i have left tiger woods inc. and moved to an FMCG company.  everyday, i have to travel around 2 to 2.5 hours from my house to the office.  i get to witness mrt action and drama almost everyday.  the upside is i get to exercise undeliberately because i have to do a lot of walking (more of running when i have classes) and pushing so i can ride the train.  i must say the life of an mrt passenger is no joke.

what else?  there’s so much more but i think that will be all for now.  later!

trying to rediscover…

i think i have lost my love for blogging.  it used to be part of my everyday habit.  i used blogging as an outlet to release emotions and thoughts that i couldn’t and wouldn’t share with people i know personally.  blogging used to be the medicine that soothes my im-bored-at-work dilemma.

don’t know when this detachment to blogging started.  must be the time when i had so much going on.  i wanted to write everything about those events but i think i was just too tamad to write.  plus the fact that there are events that i couldn’t blog about.

i have a lot of time on my hands for the next couple of days (i think) so i guess i have time to rekindle my affair with blogging.

on the 30th

i will finally tender my resignation.  it took me quite a while to decide whether i should leave tiger woods inc.  it’s not supposed to be a hard decision because there’s really no reason for me to stay in something that cannot offer and cannot guarantee a promising future.  but i have to admit that i do have doubts.  one: i’m not sure whether my new job can guarantee the promising future i am aspiring for.  two:  i’m scared and worried because the work entails something that is totally different from research.  three:  technically, i’ll be starting all over again.  so ayun.  

i’m excited din naman somehow.  i’m looking forward to hopefully a start of a growing and glowing career.  hehe.

 

starting over

i just made a huge decision in my life.  it’s a huge change - a step backward so i can move forward.  i am not really sure if this is what i need to move forward but i have decided to take the risk.  take the risk now or always look back and wonder what if.  actually i don’t really have to take the risk.  i’m ok with where i am now.  well, ok but not fine.  something can be done to upgrade the ok.  so i am taking this risk in the hopes that the ok will be better. 

it was a difficult decision.  the thought of starting all over again at 25 bothered me.  i was really bothered that i even cried while telling my mom about the news.  and i don’t normally do that.  i think the ego was the one taking over at that moment. 

i am still in doubt.  i have resolved (i think) the issue about moving back.  now i’m a bit worried if this is something that i can do.  it’s totally different, very different from what i currently and have been doing for the past four years.  i’ll never know until i’m there so i just have to wait and see and do the best i can.

i’m back :)

geez!  it’s been almost a month since i last blogged.  i’ve been quite busy at work which is a good thing of course.  the workload was quite heavy for the past couple of weeks but it’s normalizing once again.  it’s all a cycle.  sometimes i have a very busy work schedule, sometimes i’m just petiks in the office.  hahaha.

the first semester ended a week ago and second sem will start this coming week.  just one week of vacation.  i’m not sure if i decided right about which courses to take this sem.  i took two electives - HR and international business.  i’m really very interested in HR however i haven’t taken up the pre-req to that elective so i’m a bit worried.  nakalusot naman so bahala na lang.  hahahaha!  i really don’t care about international business but i took it anyway because of the schedule as i don’t want to go to school 4 times a week. 

btw, one of my classmates bumped into this blog and she asked me about it last friday.  yikes!  my url is such a giveaway!  actually i’ve been thinking about starting a new blog with a different url - something more anonymous.  kaya lang nanghihinayang naman ako sa blog na to.  which brings me to what i really wanted to write about today:  is it worth it to start over again (and again and again and again)?

another btw, i have a new hairstyle.  shorter and lighter.  hehe.   it took me two salons to finally be satisfied with the hair.  i initially went to bench fix in trinoma but unfortunately the first haircut made me look like a schoolgirl - short and straight.  ngek!  i think the hairstylist was as nervous as i am hahaha.  as i’ve blogged before i have a phobia in getting a haircut.  so a few days after, i went to david’s salon also in trinoma.  and alas the hairstylist was able to put some style into the hair.  yey!  but the story didn’t end there.  the next day omigulay!  may tikwas ang buhok ko!  i couldn’t live with tikwas so i considered having my hair relazed.  fortunately, two days after my hair was finally tamed.  i love it now.   i think i will maintain this hairstyle for quite a while.

my adhd dilemma

i think i have something like adhd.  i find it difficult to concentrate on one thing for a long period of time.  at work, i can’t do just one thing.  when i do research, i get bored when i browse only for the research topic.  i have to open a lot of tabs for my other surfing needs.  after a certain period of time devoted to researching and surfing, i have this urge to do something else or something more, basta something different.  and since there’s nothing else left for me to do, in front of the computer that is, i get really, really bored. 

when i study, i can’t read assigned cases or readings for a long period of time.  i would have to watch television o kaya every few minutes i would think of food.

my mind is all over the place.  i want to always multi-task.  i have to keep my mind preoccupied with a lot of stuff all the time otherwise i get bored and then eventually it leads to frustration.  i think there are two possible explanations for my adhd dilemma:

explanation # 1: i just get bored easily period

explanation # 2:  i am not in my area of interest.  i can’t sustain my attention because i’m not that interested in the things that i’m involved in. 

i don’t think it’s the first explanation so something can be done about this dilemma.  i just have to find a way to get to that field that interests me.  forces of nature, please, please, please send me an opportunity so i can get there.

heaven

a couple of weeks ago, i told my officemate that she smells terrific (sounds like a commercial hehehe).  she remembered that compliment and last friday she asked me to smell a bottle of perfume.  she asked whether that was the scent i liked however i no longer remember.  anyway, she asked if i liked that scent and i said yes.  apparently her aunt sent her a dozen of those so this morning i had a package of gap heaven - body spray, lotion, and shower gel, waiting for me at my desk.  

it pays to compliment generous people. yey!