star-studded ube night

last night kenny of etc’s chillspot and singer jay-ar graced our ube nights.  hahahaha.  i must say both of the these men can be called hunks because of their physique but i like kenny more.  i would have wanted to have a picture taken with him but what the heck will i do with a picture.  plus i reminded myself that i HATE local showbiz so deadma na lang. 

surprisingly, i didn’t enjoy my taco bell meal last night.  i love love love taco bell.  i used to have taco bell during lunch almost everyday but last night i just didn’t enjoy it.  still good but the satisfaction level is way below normal.  jo and i should have tried a new place to dine in but we or i got distracted because a distraction arrived.  i want to write about the distraction but it will be to emo to write about it so deadma na lang ulit.  :)

sorting things out loud

• last night was just like old times but i am not 22 anymore.  
• two damaged individuals cannot be together but why in heaven’s name is fate keeping them together?  julio at julia kambal ng tadhana?
• the strength of one partner is not enough for two people. 
• the 25 year old me was able to handle the drama better than before but can I constantly deal with drama? 
• the drama was reasonable enough says the romantic.
• the neurons say that the reaction to the drama is unacceptable.  is tolerance a part of the system still?  didn’t you just say that compromise is no longer allowed?
• is the existence of drama a sign that nothing has changed?  maturity level has not improved?  the optimist says that there has been little improvement.  but is little improvement enough? 
• will things ever improve?  the optimist says it can.  the practical says that people are people no amount of miracle can ever change them.
• accept it, deal with it, whine about it or keep on moving. 
• can i really keep on moving?  in the first place, have i moved at all?  or is all this just a facade?  am i as stuck as i used to and will stay like this as time goes by?
• we only have one family in common.  i regretted letting you become part of that family.  i felt that i shared too much but somehow i have come to realize that you also find refuge in that family.
• you are insecure and so am i.  i want you to feel secure and that is what i did.  can you make me feel secure as well?
• fencesitters.  that’s all we can do for now.  nobody wants to take responsibility.  is it because nobody is prepared?  or is it fear?
• who knew that you can make a choice without even choosing?

without tv, ….

i thought i can make myself study - read the principles of corporate finance and the handouts in management of innovation, but i was wrong.  hahaha. 

the tv in my room decided to retire.  there’s still audio but the monitor is just black.  the pictures will come out every once in a while but most of the time it’s just black.  i don’t know if i should get it fixed or just buy a new one.  my brother is taunting me that it broke down because it was too tired already imagine having to work all night while i sleep soundly.  comments like that are not welcome.  i want my tv back!

anyway, the fact that the tv is now inutile didn’t help with my plans to study.  our report in finance is coming up and innovation midterms is on thursday, i still haven’t read a thing.  the conscientious student that i was when i was younger is no longer existent.  yikes!

what’s my dream?

after being fed with a sumptuous breakfast at the mandarin suites, i forced myself to think of what to share as “my dream”.  i know what my dreams are but i don’t feel comfortable sharing my dreams with my co-workers.  i feel that it’s too intrusive.  there are very few people i can share my dreams with and my co-workers are not one of them.  i’m kinda private and secretive, so i’m not really sure if i have shared my dreams with anyone.

anyway, drfnbtch, kat, this is what i shared with my break-out group:

i want to have an excessive amount of money that will satisfy the equation:

NEEDS    +   WANTS   +   TRAVEL   + GOOD AMOUNT OF SAVINGS

NEEDS
Wala lang, being able to provide for my family i guess.  well, more than enough to provide for their needs that my mom and my dad wouldn’t have to work anymore.

WANTS
Excessive.  high life.  ala-kimora lee simmons.  life in the fab lane.  (this one received laughter from the group)   

TRAVEL
I mean comfortable travel.  first class.  i want to be able to enjoy the local cuisine.

alipins unite

my fellow alipins and i went out for a couple of drinks last night.  i limited myself to two bottles since we didn’t have a decent dinner.  it’s easier to feel the effects of alcohol when your stomach is empty and i didn’t want to crawl all the way home.   

of course, it is expected that we are going to talk about our other co-workers.  it seems that the alipins are being discriminated in one way or the other.  i found out that one was even tagged as “the little rich girl”.  i don’t think i’d mind if they called me that.  hahaha. 

i have heard catty comments here and there from our other co-workers.  when i was new, i was kinda bothered by their nasty remarks and reactions but i got apathetic afterwards.  people will see what they want to see in you.  no matter how much you try to manage their impressions of you, they will judge you from the second they see you.  we just have to deal. 

i guess i am like our other co-workers in some ways.  i can really be mean and sarcastic, i just don’t deliberately flaunt it.   

anyway, i didn’t even reach the usual sort of head spinning sensation after drinking but i woke up really late today.  i think we are probably going to do the alipin sessions regularly.  i kind of like that.

what’s your dream?

we are expected to answer this question later.  as part of the planning session, the queen bees* want us to share with a break-out group what our dreams and aspirations are.  ngek, ayoko nga!  hahaha.  i have to think of a vague but still decent and believable answer to this question. 

* all of our bosses are women.  girl power rules!  bwahahaha.   there is really scarcity of the male specie.  where are they? 

UPDATED:  what’s my dream?

early worm

oh my!  i can’t believe this i’m already in the office at 6:20 in the morning!  

it’s the time of  year for planning sessions and for some reason, the big boss wants to start the session at 7:30 am.  since traffic and the possibility of getting a ride to work is quite unpredictable lately i had to get up really very early (4:30 am) so i can beat the rush hour and avoid all the unnecessary stress.  whew! that was a long running sentence.  hahaha. 

i saw a rainbow on my way to work.  i hope it’s a sign of a good day.  i could really use some good news.  not that i’m in deep shit.  but things are pretty much a drag lately, i’m craving for something fun, exciting and most of all GOOD news.

are you listening?

i am predominantly a listener rather than a storyteller.  in a conversation i am usually the one who is listening and asking follow-up questions about the kwento of the other person.  sometimes i just feel that it is my responsibility to ask questions even if i’m not really that interested in the kwento.  i feel that i owe it to the person.  i want to let him/her feel that i am listening to whatever it is that he/she is saying.  even if i am not interested the least that i can do is to listen.  i was supposed to add the adverb genuinely but to listen genuinely would require being interested in whatever the topic is so listen na lang without any adverb. haha. 

anyhoo, our prof in innovation was telling us last night that one way to know if a person you are talking to is really listening is through what he does after you talk.  if after making chika to the max the other person responds with his own story then that person did not bother to listen to you at all.  during the entire time that you were talking, he was thinking of his own story.  how rude is that!  

i have actually observed this among people and it’s true.  since i am usually a listener, i really hate it when during the few times that i care to share the person i am talking to is so used with being the speaker that he wouldn’t pay attention to my stories.  harsh! (harsh - is an expression i normally use.  )

single blessedess?

am i destined for single blessedness?  hhhmmm….  i would like to think that i am no longer as scared as i used to.  actually both paths are scary.  settling down and spending the rest of my life with a stranger is as scary as growing old alone. 

sometimes i thnk that i am not built for marriage.  commitment is not a problem for me but the complications of marriage may be too much for my nerves to handle.  anything that concerns a close relationship with another human being is strenuous. 

i think i’m more concerned now with finding a companion.  just like married couples, we would go through life together, stand by each other through through thick and thin, till death do us part, except for the romance part. 

i have to admit that it’s nice to be cuddled and to cuddle but i think i can do away with the physical connection.  i’m more looking forward to the kind of love that doesn’t necessarily involve romance.  my gay friend danie actually told me, bakit ka pa maghahanap eh di ako na lang?  hhhmmm… why not?  hahaha. 

well, i think i can live with single blessedness because i have people who i consider to be friends for keeps.  these are the ones who i think are also destined for single blessedness.  bwahahaha.  

foursome :)

i love doing tags.  it gives me something to write about especially now that i’m not as inspired to blog.  so thanks emcee for this tag.
Four jobs I’ve had

• mystery shopper (for j&j back in college)
• student assistant (during my last year in college) 
• research assistant (for the ncpag dean)
• factotum (for the very feisty sen.mds)

Four movies I can watch over and over

• the devil wears prada - love this movie a lot.  very empowering.
  i can’t think of any other movie right now.

Four places I’ve lived

• manila
• novaliches
  i only have two so far.

Four TV shows I love

• damages
• gossip girl
• life in the fab lane
• bones
  i actually have a very long list for this because i’m a certified tv addict but these are the ones i have watched recently.

Four places I’ve vacationed (most recently)

• puerto galera
  this is the only place i visited this summer.  no more free boracay vacation.

Four of my favorite dishes

• spaghetti of my mom
• sinigang
• nilaga
• pinakbet

Four sites I visit daily

• yahoo mail
• google
• chuvaness.livejournal.com
• grace annatomy (my blog.  yes, it’s double N.:) )
  

Four places I would rather be right now  (these are the places i want to visit and probably live in)

• baguio (yeah, i’m a loser, i’ve never been to baguio.  hahaha.)
• singapore (i think this where i’m destined to live as in!)
• hong kong
• macau
  

Four people I tag
i’m not tagging anyone.  just answer this tag if you want to.